Psycho-obsessive astronaut drives cross-country in diapers to confront romantic rival

I wish I had made up that headline.  But I didn't:

An astronaut drove 900 miles and donned a disguise to confront a woman she believed was her rival for the affections of a space shuttle pilot, police said. She was arrested Monday and charged with attempted kidnapping and other counts.

U.S. Navy Capt. Lisa Nowak, 43, who flew last July on a shuttle mission to the international space station, was also charged with attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery. She was denied bail.

Police said Nowak drove from her home in Houston to the Orlando International Airport to confront Colleen Shipman.

Nowak believed Shipman was romantically involved with Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein [rhymes with "Ovaltine"? -- ed.], a pilot during space shuttle Discovery's trip to the space station last December, police said.

Get this:

When she found out that Shipman was flying to Orlando from Houston, Nowak decided to confront her, according to the arrest affidavit. Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate, authorities said.

Astronauts wear diapers during launch and re-entry.

Why didn't she just fly?  Beats me.  Maybe it had something to do with the diapers, if you know what I mean....

Dressed in a wig and a trench coat, Nowak boarded an airport bus that Shipman took to her car in an airport parking lot. Shipman told police she noticed someone following her, hurried inside the car and locked the doors, according to the arrest affidavit.

The report doesn't say how Nowak beat Shipman to the airport by driving, nor does it say whether Nowak was still wearing  diapers at this point.

Nowak rapped on the window, tried to open the car door and asked for a ride. Shipman refused but rolled down the car window a few inches when Nowak started crying. Nowak then sprayed a chemical into Shipman's car, the affidavit said.

Shipman drove to the parking lot booth, and the police were called.

What they found in Astronaut Nowak's possession was kind of creepy.  You'll have to read the rest to find out, but it looks like Nowak was planning a kidnapping, or worse (or, to be charitable, maybe the garbage bags were for the used diapers -- maybe).

I guess that the best we can say is that we didn't end up having a "Fatal Attraction" episode in near-Earth orbit.

Now, on a note that seems somehow related, Ace presents the titles of women's magazine articles as written by guys.  My favorite:

The Words That Come Out Of His Mouth: The Secret Source Of What A Man Is Really Trying To Tell You!
By planet moron